Happy 5 Year Anniversary to Us!

Dear Paul,

I love you so much. You have taught me so many things. You truly are my inspiration and make me want to be so much of a better person. You make me laugh more than any other person (actually, you and Conner are tied). We created the most beautiful perfect little baby who has increased our joy exponentially. Sometimes when you are asleep, I lay awake in bed, looking at you. I wonder how I would ever live without you, and commit to making every moment count that much more. I love your ridiculously long eye lashes, your big blue eyes, your generous smile, and so many other things. I love that you always put others first. Not just me. You serve others and are such a great example to me of charity and love. I want to give you the best of me, and I know that you accept me and love me dearly with all of my faults and weaknesses. I love those precious moments in the House of the Lord when we are reminded so tenderly of our covenants and of our Eternal marriage and family. What a beautiful life we have together with our little family. I am so happy to be married to you. You have completed my life and given me all that I adore and love. You and Conner are so perfect for me. I love you.

Love, Annie

P.S. Yep, still haven't figured out the whole color thing. Please someone, come to my house and fix it for me. :)

Dumb black "ink"

Who can tell me why I can't type in black??!!??? It never used to be a problem, and then all of a sudden like 4 months ago, it wouldn't appear in black anymore. I would post my blog and it would come out grey (like my last post! I couldn't get it to change to any other color!) It is bugging me so bad!

and now apparently this will only show up in grey too!!!!!! grrrrrrrr!

Photo session giveaway!

Check out this great opportunity and great photographer!

http://wanttoseewhatisee.blogspot.com

Conner modeling fun socks on Babysteals.com (Today only!)

This link will only work today to show that Conner and I were on the Babysteals website, because they have a new product each day. We went in to pick up something that I bought from the website, and the photographer was there, and asked me about Conner's tube. Then we got to talking about his heart, and surgery, and feeding tube, etc. Then she asked if it would be alright if we had him 'model' some cute socks that would be featured today. Of course I said yes! What mom doesn't want to show off how cute and perfect their baby is?! :) She had me hold him since he doesn't sit up by himself yet, so it was fun to be in the picture with him! She told me that she was going to take some extra pictures, just so that I could have them! So sweet! So I'm going back in next week to pick up the pictures, and I'm so excited! I love the picture she has on the website. It shows Conner's personality so well. Such a calm, sweet baby.

And while you are at it, sign up for Babysteals.com They have some really cool stuff for 50%-80% off retail value, and like I mentioned before, it's a different product each day! (haha, no, I do not work for them in any way, I just really like them!!)

http://babysteals.com/

CHD Awareness video with Conner

My "heart mom" friend made this video for a school in Oklahoma about CHD (Congenital Heart Defect) awareness. It features Conner at the very end of the video with a couple of pictures. I think the end picture was such a cute way to end the video! :)

I would have put the video right on the blog, but I don't know how, so here is the link instead:

http://www.onetruemedia.com/otm_site/view_shared?p=bd5c27ad0b3b704d0e67c4&skin_id=1901&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url

Thumbs-up to an amazing woman!

I had to take Conner up to PCMC today for an appointment. The whole ride up to the hospital, he threw up several times and was just having a rough morning. Then, while I was waiting in our room for the doctor to come in, I felt something wet on my arm, and realized that Conner's feeding tube had slipped out! I looked at the tape on his face, and realized that his throw-up had got under the tape, and made it really slippery, and that is what made the tube slide out so easily. I already was feeling sad because Conner wasn't having such a great morning, and so when his tube came out, I started crying. The doctor's assistant said that he would see if he could find someone to come help me put it back in. Paul has been the one to put his feeding tube back in, during the 2 weeks that he has had it. I do the holding and comforting, and daddy does the hard part. So when it came out, I was scared because I didn't know 'how' to put it back in (I 'know' how to put it back in because I've watched Paul do it several times, but have never done it myself). I was really happy that the assistant said he would find someone for me. He came back a few minutes later and said that the people he thought could come and help me were not available.

After the appointment I thought I would go check with the NICU to see if someone might be willing to help me. On my way to the elevators, a nice nurse asked if she could help me (because I was carrying him outside his car seat, carrying the car seat, his diaper bag, and his backpack that carry's his food and pump). I told her that I was o.k. and thanked her. Then when I got to the elevators, there was a lady waiting there with her special needs child in a wheelchair. She too asked if she could help me, and I told her that I was o.k. Well she didn't want to take no for an answer, and said "You look like you need help, so I'm going to take your bag and let me carry that car seat" and proceeded to hand the bag on her daughter's wheelchair and carried the car seat as she pushed her daughter into the elevator. It was such a kind gesture, that I started crying (again) as I followed her into the elevator. When she saw me crying, she asked what was wrong and how she could help. I told her that Conner just had a rough morning, and then his feeding tube came out and I didn't know how to put it back in. She then announced that she would go with me and help me figure it out, where ever I was headed. She came with me as I called on the phone to the NICU and asked them if someone could help me. They put me on hold, then came back and apologized that they couldn't help me (liability reasons, which is understandable). I told Gretta (the name of the lady helping me) that I would just go home and try and put it in myself, but she wouldn't hear of it. She told me that she was going to stay with me until we found someone that would help me.

She told me to follow her and that she was going to talk to her nurse and see what they could do to help. We went to the 3rd floor where they were staying. When she found her nurse and another nurse, she said "This is my friend Annie..." and as she explained the situation, she was so passionate about helping me that she started crying! Then the nurse started crying, and then I started crying again! The nurses talked and then took me into an office, where they got the supplies for me that we needed. The nurse asked if she wanted me to have her put it in, or if I wanted to try. I said that I would try. There ended up being like 5 nurses in the little room, all wanting to hold Conner, and help out. I got the tube in on the first attempt, and they all cheered me on and congratulated me like I had just won a beauty pageant or something- it was so sweet. Gretta waited for me the whole time, out in the hall with her daughter.

What is it that drives human beings to reach out so selflessly and serve a complete stranger? It is of course the light of Christ and the spirit, but it still amazes me how it works. This woman, this beautiful, sweet woman could have so easily let me be. She didn't have to offer her hand to help me. She didn't have to make it her mission to help me find help for my baby. She had her hands full already (physically and mentally) with her daughter who had very special needs herself. It would have been so easy for her to think that she was too busy and that my need was so minuscule compared to her daughter's needs. And yet she didn't. She took me under her wing and with a heart so pure and full of charity, made me feel as though the Savior was taking care of me. She felt my sorrow and yearned to make me feel better. She went out of her way to serve me when there was no benefit for her from it. She won't ever get public recognition for this act, she won't get paid money, she didn't do it so other's could see her goodness. She helped me because she is a selfless, giving woman who saw another in need.

You can tell what kind of woman she is just from her daughter. I asked about her daughter, and she told me that she adopted her. I asked from where, and she told me that she adopted her from social services. This means that this woman knowingly adopted this child with all of her physical handicaps, and neurological problems. She gave up her wants, hobbies and "worldly desires' to so selflessly serve, love and take care of another human being. What could be a more Christ-like thing to do? This woman is a hero in my eyes, and made me really think about my life and what I'm doing to serve others. I want to be more selfless and giving. I want to be more charitable and giving of my love to people who are in need. It is not my place to judge other's, but rather to love unconditionally and be more Christ-like.

Life is Beautiful.

Life has been crazy and wonderful around here. The easiest way for me to give a quick update as to what's been happening, is just to make a random list, in no particular order of importance or in correct timeline.

• Conner turned 6 months old on the 12th of this month! I seriously cannot believe he is already 6 months old! Up to his 6 months old, he has spent 1/2 his life in the hospital. Weird.
• Conner learned to roll from back to tummy about 3 weeks ago. He rarely will stay on his back anymore and it seems to have helped with his throwing up. He sleeps on his tummy all night (even if we move him to his back when he is totally asleep, he will roll back over). He is working on figuring out how to roll back onto his back. Almost there.
• Conner goes to feeding therapy every 2 weeks. We practice with Conner 2x a day with eating. We use either pureed fruit or rice cereal/milk breast mixture. We spoon-feed him. Mostly it's just getting it on his lips and getting him used to different textures and tastes. Good days are when we can get any of the food actually inside his mouth, and not-so-good days are that he will throw up the minute the spoon touches his lips. We are the biggest cheeseballs when we feed him, because we have to keep it super positive so he will like it. If someone were to capture our expressions on camera during the process of feeding him, I'm sure they would make it onto the web, and be a big hit because we look ridiculously cheesy.
• Conner's NJ feeding tube got moved to an NG about 1 1/2 weeks ago. So now instead of his small intestine getting fed the milk, his tummy is getting fed. He is still on continuous feeds, but the goal is to move to bolous feeds- which means, instead of feeding him 24 hrs a day, we start to separate and condense his feeding times so he can learn what it feels like to be hungry and to get full. Doing bolous feedings should help him want to learn how to eat because he will have more of a desire.
• Conner makes lots of cute noises and smiles whenever we smile at him. He has the most darling smile and when he gets really excited, he smiles and scrunches his nose, which is totally a trait he gets from his momma :) Daddy is the best at getting him to laugh. When Conner is on his tummy and gets excited, he kicks his legs up and down, and he looks like a fish out of water- it is hilarious.
• His hair is slowing getting thicker and he has a little patch of hair right on the top of his head that seems to be the only place that is actually growing longer- I love it. I will soon try and style that little patch of hair with some gel :) He has very blonde hair, and sometimes in the sunlight, it looks a tiny bit strawberry blonde (Paul's dad has red hair, and when Paul grows out his beard, it's reddish).
• Conner is a fantastic little sleeper. We put him down for bed between 7:30-8pm and he sleeps until 9am, sometimes 9:30 or 10am. He takes a nap from 11am-1pm/2pm and another nap usually around 4pm for an hour or so.
• Conner puts everything in his mouth and I LOVE it! I love it because it means that although the process of learning to eat is challenge that he doesn't appreciate right now, he does not have an oral aversion to things in his mouth. Oral aversions often happen when a baby/child doesn't eat with their mouth, and they have reflux and issues with throwing up a lot. He luckily loves to chomp on all his toys and we are thankful for that. He doesn't slobber (yet) but for the past several weeks has had a chin rash. I'm pretty sure it's because of his saliva that he rubs onto his chin from his toys and his fist. I try putting diaper rash cream on it and it seems to help. But if you notice sad looking red chin in his pics, then you know why. His feeding therapist said that his gums are puffy and that he will probably be teething soon. Can't wait for that (said in a sarcastic voice).
• Conner wears 3 month and 3-6 month clothes still. He is on the smaller size of 'normal' (so says his pediatrician), but growing and gaining weight well. At his last appt which was like 3 weeks ago, he weighed 13 lbs and was 23 inches long (he started out at 6 lbs, 2oz and was 17 1/2 inches long).
• Conner had the sad luck of inheriting sensitive skin from mommy and daddy. He had no choice in the matter. He also had no choice in also inheriting the luxurious tan skin like his parents. HA. Ya right. Poor kid also got our pasty white skin. With pride, we are happy to say that he got beautiful blue eyes, which came from both of us. We think that he is perfect and love every ounce of his sensitive, porcelain skin.
• Conner has had 2 post-op cardiology visits since his surgery and they say that everything looks wonderful and his heart has healed very well. His cardiologist is very happy with how things look.
• Conner still has the same sweet, mellow temperament that he displayed since day one. He only cries when he throws up and when he is really really tired. He is content to play 'by himself' (i.e. he will happily talk to himself and play with his toys in his play area while I blog for an hour). He does however, LOVE play time with mommy and/or daddy. He loves attention and is eager to please. We are so proud of him when he grasps our fingers for balance support as he stands on his strong little legs, and smiles. He loves to be tickled and he loves to grab our faces.
• We have been crazy with appointments lately. Between Conner's pediatrician appointments and cardiology visits, and other medical appointments for him, I have had a few appointments myself. The good old dental cleaning, (which I actually love, call me crazy), a knee evaluation and a few ENT appts. I first experienced bad pain in my right knee on our 7 hr hike in Hawaii back in Oct. The pain went away after 2 days, and never came back...until the end of June. It was the same pain, and I figured it would go away like before. Well it didn't, so I finally went and saw a sports medicine doctor. There is some fancy medical term for what he said I have, but it's basically "bumps under my knee" (he said that's how I can describe it to people). It's fairly common and with antibiotics and different exercises it will heal and go away. I went to see an ENT because about 2 weeks after giving birth I started experiencing several different symptoms. I woke up a few mornings in a row with the room spinning. Not the kind of room spinning that feels yucky but is not a big deal, but this was really scary. It was like the room was violently spinning, making me feel sick to my stomach, and I couldn't control it. I would grab onto whatever I could- the bed, Paul, my sheets- anything that was a stable part of reality to help stop the spinning sensation. And it was so scary that I would cry. It would happen when I was just laying there, when I would turn, when I would sit up, and when I was just standing somewhere. And it brought headaches that would last for days. (I rarely get headaches). I felt dizzy all the time for about 2 weeks. I would go to the hospital and felt so sick that I couldn't even hold Conner. I made appts with 2 different ENT's. The first said that he thought I had loose crystals in my ears, which cause imbalance and room-spinning. He did some exercise that was supposed to fix it. It didn't. I went and saw the other ENT and he also tried a similar exercise. I did a hearing and balance test with him. Everything was pretty normal with the test results. The headaches, dizziness and room spinning eventually subsided, but every night since, when I lay down to sleep, or turn in my bed, or close my eyes when rocking Conner, I have to concentrate and focus my mind to prevent it from going into a state of dizziness. I recently returned to the 2nd ENT Dr. to let him know what I'm still dealing with. He sent me to have an echo of my heart, an MRI and a scan of my neck. Luckily everything is normal and there is nothing of concern, but I'm still left wondering what is wrong with me.
• This last week Conner started doing the funniest thing. It looks like he is doing a pelvic thrust into the air, while he is laying on his back. It makes me laugh.
• Paul got a new job at an Internet Marketing company about 1 1/2 months ago. He super excited and happy about it! He is amazing at what he does and he such an amazing husband and daddy!!!
• Paul has now been the ward clerk for over a year. He is really good at this job so we will have to move before they release him! (the previous clerk was in that calling for I think almost 15 years!)
• I have been the 1st counselor in Young Womens for about 2 years. I LOVE it!! I was so intimidated at first, but now I love the girls and we have so much fun together! And they ask to borrow my clothes all the time, so I feel TOTALLY cool and like I'm still young and fashionable! :)
• Paul and I will be celebrating our 5 year anniversary next month and I'm so excited! Marriage seriously rules and I love it so much!! I love Paul sooooo much and I can honestly say that marriage has just gotten better over time! (is gotten a word?) We have SO much fun together and throw the cutest baby in the world into the mix, and what do you have? The happiest little family EVER!!!
• Phew, this long post should make up for my not blogging for a while. :)
• P.S. the pictures where Conner doesn't have a tube in his nose, would be one of the 5 times that it has come out since it was moved to an NG tube, and we can luckily put it back in ourselves and we don't have to go to the hospital anymore.